basically ignorant

i have a new table lamp

2011-01-25T12:27:00.002Z

and I'm like oh maaa gadddd I'm so in love. There's just so many ways to love ya.

runaway with me

2010-11-16T04:12:00.002Z

and i'm like, syiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

you blew me away.

like a fucking slap in the face.

paper bags and plastic cards

2010-11-16T02:24:00.002Z

so they say summer was one mistake we never learn from.

well, there are mistakes by the dozens i could be put to trial and hanged for this autumn alone. since when is being young and free a crime? men are borne free but everywhere he is in chains.

autumn is beautiful. but the weather can turn so ugly. beauty of the changing leaves coupled with the annoyance of all things wet and cold. as usual, i am not anticipating winter.

my confession to the world: i am a hypocrite. the worst kind. the kind that enjoys, not the hypocrisy but the joy of the action in itself. but isn't everybody? irony and life go well together.

matt nathanson - still

selamat hari raya aidil adha. God Bless.

if you must

2010-11-08T06:25:00.002Z

yes yes we shouldn't judge you.

yes yes we should accept you as you 'am'.

yes yes you hate people who don't even know you but think they know you.

yes yes love you for who you are yada yada yada.

wake up and smell the redbull, honey. take a good look around you and then take a good look at yourself. we are humans; self-interest and competitiveness is an inherent part of us.

you may not realise it but you yourself are probably the most judgmental person you know. how many times have you made an inaccurate first impression of a person of the same gender as you just because that person is very, say, good-looking? a complete mindfuck, i know.

and when i rant on about this, i don't exclude myself. i judge people and people judge me. only i don't go around attacking people before they even start to. the first thing on a person's mind is probably just: oh it be cool if we could be friends. x

the everyday

2010-11-08T01:02:00.003Z

the everyday is beautiful.

the perfect paragraphs ; in a lazy Sunday

your eyes so dark yet colourful

dogs barking next door ; affinity and disarray.

the wooden signs in the park

never told me you're coming

the clouds are not lined with silver

i shouldn't be expecting

oh you have made my life wonderful

looking forward through red sunglasses

everywhere tiny hearts afloat

flutter flutter flutter, not the butterfly

dear blog,

i have been so busy lately.

but happy birthday to my baby.

he's asleep now.

i hope he has the sweetest dreams imaginable.

a thousand kisses.

comparisons are never good

2010-11-02T21:55:00.003Z

facebook. have you ever heard of people getting satisfaction and ultimate fulfillment in life just because your old 'friends' are now fat? that's just sick. no wonder there's a website for facebook depression.

make-up. uber thickness layer of powdery expensive shit on your face.

make-up. like paint on a crumbling brick wall.

make-up. i wear em too so we are all part of the evil hegemony of beauty.

dear random person,

stop being random just for the sake of being random. its not cute. its attention deficit.

sincerely, just a random annoyed person.

this i do late at night

2010-07-19T19:33:00.002+01:00

hi, hello and whatever and all that shit.

it has been an eventful month in brunei. but i have not met many people. i assume they are busy. thats good because it means they have productive lives and i am proud of them. i miss them. i miss my uni mates as well. i miss izza the most. without her, i am like a walkman without the energizer bunny batteries. i miss abg because i have not gone out on a proper date with him. we are going out this saturday and i cannot wait.

i do not know what else to say...

until the next useless, boring, self-centred post. bye...

memory labryinths

2010-06-16T05:22:00.004+01:00

i thrive to go far.

but i tie a string

one end on my wrist

and the other at the beginning

so i won't get lost.

you do get me right?

i love my friends. shit happens but they have a funny way of staying in your head. like permanent marker on a whiteboard. it can fade. but is not that easy to erase it totally. that was a crappy comparison but what the face.

exam in a few hours. i am not ready yet.

so? i'm doing the fucking exam, not you.

these last few of hours of cramming will hurt me so bad and i love it.

its my last paper, which is absofuckinglutely awesome.

actually my head hurts already.

screw my problems. you have a lovely day (:

paper hell

2010-06-10T04:00:00.002+01:00

its 4am. exam is in 5 hours.

am studying for 4 essays.

yes, FOUR fucking essays.

one sitting.

nada life, nada life.

just kill me now.

the drama hypothesis

2010-06-04T18:40:00.004+01:00

one fucking good piece of advice from izza nabillah. well she didn't meant it as an advice, but i like to take it that way anyway.

don't get too attached to people.

with exceptions of course.

i miss the following people very much.

sayang. always. always. always. always.

my ex-pds girls yang forever lawa; tiqah, izzati and farhana

my maktabduli companions yang gila; siti, aimimuntel, fisha, jill, ali & zatty

my geng sengkurong; si meera, si max, si boy

my oh-so-lovely cousins of bunut; nana, aliyah, nadiah, shahirah, adriana and abg alan kambang 'R' nya kuat lol.

my darling cousins of lambak; wafiah and enong

my ever youthful aunts; aunty jal, aunty memet and aunty bibi

my grandparents yang tersayang; nene babu! nene bapa! nene lambak girl! nene lambak boy!

the best family ever; MUMMY, BABAH, SYASYA, NADHEERAH AND AJIK

and new friends are always great (:

urang-urang kent yang hebat (:

izza, zikah, najib, syamsiah, ani, rahman, hanif, ida, fifah, wafiy, nina, safwan, nawawi, hafiz, zul, nahqim, amal, kye, dilah, fifiz, kim, milzam, adit, wani, farah, ali, arif, hanif and

and banyak lagi inda tebuat.

yes i'm in a stupid sentimental mood.

argh what have you done to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!

sweet words of hate

2010-05-27T18:54:00.001+01:00

i look at her.

a few years younger than me, even younger than you.

hell, that makes a lot of difference.

innocent. pretty yet plain.

just another one of your victims.

i am really not surprised.

none of my business, but just slightly angry.

she obviously has no faults to pick with you.

your oversized ego just towers over her.

her and her submissive character.

everybody just wants a little lovin'.

i don't call what you give her love.

why

why do you like to pull people down so much?

aren't we as human beings suppose to fulfill the best of our capacities on this earth?

isn't that what differentiates us from animals?

you are a pig.

it is unbelievable how you haven't changed a single bit over the years.

the rest of us...

...we found lives and moved on.

fooled her at the beginning, didn't you?

flatter her.

praise her.

glorify her.

then bam.

harsher than harsh words.

craving more attention like a child that hasn't been fed.

in your case, a starving ego.

i know this for sure

no matter how low you pull her down

she will never

never

ever

reach

your

level.

and so

2010-05-21T10:09:00.002+01:00

having a massive massive stomach ache. no panadol for relief. feeling a mixture of hunger and no appetite due to pain. heck, how is that even fucking possible? i'm hungry but i don't feel like eating. googling the symptoms didn't help. 'colon cancer' popped out. very common in women. ouch. screw that. i decided that blogging might distract my mind.

there's just a wee bit of time until my first exam which is Politics and popular culture in modern Japan. i did managed to cover some things here and there; hopefully just enough for a pass. i noticed it gets harder and harder to force your brain to study as you go up the academic ladder. O-level was alright. A-level was bearable. Degree is just... why-is-this-shit-so-hard-i-just-wanna-lie-in-my-bed-all-day-watching-streamed-movies-and-eat-food-that-makes-me-lazier. you feeling me here? ;)

but don't get me all wrong. i do care. i am caring enough to the point of stressing out. stress can cause an abundance of things nowadays. its so friggin unhealthy to be stressed that bad skin, headaches, acne etc are attributed to stress as well as a poor diet. exam stress and crappy diets, hmmm show me a student who doesn't suffer even mildly from those two.

and i miss my boyfriend. he is sleeping over at a friend's place. i had a good laugh when he told me he got hooked on the Tudors and now he's got his friend hooked on the Tudors as well. they should be, that show is absolutelyfuckin amazing. i like how they make Jonathan Rhys Meyers aged 'gracefully'.

tummy still killing me. getting harder to ignore.

i like my salmon nicely cooked and not raw. kthanxbye. xx

shot glass theory

2010-05-14T00:40:00.000+01:00

i am about to embark on one hell of a journey...

dramatic star wars theme music

...nah just kidding. first ever uni exams starts in less than two weeks. have no choice but to hit the books, online journals etc. i worship Google Scholar, despite how annoying it is sometimes when you cannot access the article you want. nevertheless, its still Google - only more smarter and properly referenced.

speaking of references, there is one thing i would like to point out. i'm sure many university students have been warned not to use Wikipedia as it is considered 'academically dubious'; but it is amusing when i think back and remembered that a majority of the English Literature A Level notes my teacher gave me were from Wikipedia. Heck, even using Spark notes was encouraged.

Too lazy to argue and debate about something as 'trivial' as this, i'm just gonna say that Wikipedia is a good place to start off. Avoid copying chunks of it and you'll be fine. i'll leave it to the enthusiastic bipolar members of the discussion forums to decide. cheers. x

overwhelmed

2010-04-06T03:51:00.003+01:00

5 politics essays over a course of two weeks are more than enough to make me puke democratic slogans and post-war analysis crap all over the goddamn floor. God, i am sick of doing these essays but what choice do i have. in a shit position, i am. but hey, just a few more days to ultimate easter freedom. i absolutely cannot wait to go to Scotland. For a beloved significant other awaits me there. blame my use of words on what i have been watching lately. Jonathan Rhys Meyers. need i say more? yes i have joined the Tudors fan club. it has got to be one of the best best best shows ever. the costumes are breathtaking and the sets are amazing. for some reasons i cannot quite comprehend, i admire Anne Boleyn. I have publicly shown this enchantment with my new medieval idol by joining a Facebook page dedicated to her. five out of five stars for the actress who played her in the show. i have very much enjoyed season 1 and 2 but season 3 did not quite fascinate me as much as the formers but we will just have to see, won't we? after all, i am only up to episode 3.

p.s. this post was done in extremely great haste. i have to do my fourth essay on Japan now (:

not now, not yet.

2010-03-16T20:11:00.004Z

soon. soon.

rants about idk

2010-03-11T16:14:00.000Z

After a long period of dormancy, here I am again. I can say that I am up to my head in assignments, things to do and what-not. The thing about taking a Social Sciences course like Politics is that it requires, no, demands a shit load of reading. Sometimes how I wish that old bookworm habit of mine resurfaces. I still do love to read, it is an unremovable function within me to be passionate about English books. But I can help but fall prey to the endless availability of “other things to do besides reading”. Messenger, Facebook, That Sexy Ipod and Youtube are just some of the culprits that can automatically steal the typical youth’s attention span from other boring responsibilities like, what do you call it? Oh yeah, studying. But then again, there will always be that voice in your head reminding you exactly why you got dumped into this place called university in the first place. (Right now I’m imagining a huge yellow, black and red helicopter up in the sky spitting out bewildered teens armed with “How to deal with culture shock” handbooks) Add the fact that you’re on a government scholarship that binds you to a frightening contract, and there’s good ol’ mum and dad and si kucing back home and yada yada yada you get the point; the usual this-is-for-my-future argument. And it is good that many young aspiring Bruneians do have an inkling of moral responsibilities. Speaking of responsibility, my International Politics essay is going nowhere right now. Why the fuck did I pick Marxism as my topic I have no idea. Academics struggle to conceptualize Marx in International Relations and here I am thinking I can write 2000 words. You might say that I could just conjure up some fancy bullshit that sounds smart and stick a random page in the footnote. Well, even creating some fancy bullshit that sounds smart and sticking a random page in the footnote is not that easy babe. Seriously, these so called theoreticians use such complex language to put such a simple point across. It annoys me that I have to constantly flip through my dictionary. Sometimes I would just try Googling the definition. Funny how we google everything now. I used to think Google was such a silly word but now I realize I cannot live without it. Thankyou whoever you are, Google creator.

green is beautiful

2010-02-20T22:19:00.002Z

this is so bad, really. my latest piece of artwork.

what i did during reading week part 2

2010-02-20T22:06:00.006Z

i bought this from ebay. internet shopping will take over the world one day (:

most awesome selipar jipun ever.

izza managed to obtain a fat but cute stuffed owl

*interruption*

"ITS A FUKIN DOORSTOP MAAAAAL." lmfao.

a very stressful study session and my hopeless attempt to pout. epic fail you could say.

they were studying ketones and shit while i was studying vanity through izza's mirror.

the poster says it all.

what i did during reading week

2010-02-20T22:00:00.004Z

two lovely ladies i love. x

happy birthday to nawawi bolhassan

outcomes

2010-02-13T01:19:00.000Z

pasta, gooooood.
didnt go for seminar, awful.
milzam's birthday, acceptable.
hair, too annoying.
shopping with izza, fun as always.
wafiy, even more annoying than hair.
peace on earth, never achieved.
x

this was on thursday 11/01/10

2010-02-13T01:04:00.000Z

i woke up at 6am today.

decided it was too ridiculously early.

dozed off again.

woke up at 8. hell, still too damn early.

slept again.

10ish. fucking fuckit why can't i just stay in my dreams?

woke up.

saw some stressed out bitch who looks like she needs to pee.

oh it was just my wall mirror. double fucking fuckit.

you know whats annoying?

i sneezed like a million times today.

well not literally a million times.

but it felt like a million times.

i hate.

i had no facial tissue so i had to keep taking toilet roll from the bathroom.

wiping my nose with what was intended to wipe butts.

pathetic.

note to self: buy tissues.

there are no fancy hotels to steal from in Canterbury :(

ah-chooo!

fff-

ah-choo!!

-uhhh-

ah-choo!!!

-akk this cold -.-

lecture at 11am was cancelled due to heavy snow.

there was something wrong with my kentmail today so i received the message saying lecture was cancelled well past 2pm.

but thank god i didnt went.

it pays to be lazyy.

would have looked like an idiot if i went into Rutherford Lecture Theater 1 all alone.

sweet dull memoirs

2010-02-10T12:08:00.003Z

again i caught myself staring into empty space. wth am i doing?

sometimes i wish i was back in brunei, sitting on the corners of those dirty pavements that were so unfriendly to our white school uniforms.

relishing that familiar smell of brunei despite the humid heat and dust that surrounds me. looking at the cars zooming by, some with their windows down, rnb blaring more than sufficiently loud.

a slight turn of the head at the sound of boys playing street futsal nearby. shouting unnecessary abuses just for the sake of the game.

just love it when the day turns orange and soon a deep crimson in transition to the magrib period when you can hear that familiar azan in the distant mosque. children running back inside obeying the call of babu.

a very much welcomed text message inviting you to an easy on the wallet trip to pasar malam, where the smoke from the ikan salai intoxicates you and savour the scents of kueh melayu and satay.

across the road, a few dull puddles here and there, in a country blessed with equatorial rain all year round.

awkward corridor

2010-02-06T09:59:00.003Z

AKU KAN MANDI WA MANDI.....!!!!

a stroke of pms

2010-02-04T04:19:00.002Z

i have been plagued by people with little or no sense of maturity at all. i go about doing my own shit and these 'adults' splatter their childish anger on me as if i am the daughter of the devil. thankyou for the professional attention. therefore, i would like to dedicate a song to you guys for being so awesome in my book.

when i grow up i wanna be stupid

when i grow up i wanna blame others

when i grow up, i don't actually grow up

but act like a child...

be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it..

in the arse.

go fuck yourself.

and another shoutout

2010-02-01T00:59:00.002Z

and i miss you aiez j.

happy birthday atiqah ismail

2010-02-01T00:51:00.001Z

30 01 2010

i love you

(sorry i stole the pic from facebook, you do what you gotta do)

shoutout

2010-02-01T00:37:00.001Z

THANKS JILL (: (: (:

si hamster no more.

2009-12-16T04:26:00.002Z

if you scroll down the page and look at the right hand side of the navigation bar, you will see my virtual pet. currently i call it Si Hamster, which is sad. it needs a name. maybe something simple like Nostradamus or Machiavelli.

hmm. i need to think about this.

antam ja.

2009-12-16T04:14:00.003Z

december already? shit, where did my days go..
november just evaporated i suppose.

the malaysian-bruneian society had a logo design comp and this is what i came up with.

poetic phase: between winks

2009-11-12T04:24:00.003Z

These insomnia demons are overwhelming
They seem to feed me incessant tablets of eye openers
And yet they seem to flee at daybreak
Causing much misery to my visage and vigour

Funnily enough many yawns escape me
Hours before i could actually pass into slumber
Fatigued and drowsy, frankly
But they would not release their claws

I cry to be let out into the realm of dreams
To escape this harsh reality for aturn of the hourglass
To savour the rewarding state of unconciousness
But they would not let me.

birthdays on the seven eleven

2009-11-09T04:24:00.007Z

happy birthday Zudin (:

and happy birthday to Kaka Zaza (:

didn't get a chance to post on the 7th itself so forgive this belated entry. x

t h i s t h a t

2009-11-01T22:51:00.003Z

its sunday. i finished a third of my War on Drugs assignment which is due on the 9th of Nov. batah lagi right? NOT. its better to finish it early and just get it out of my way. at the snail rate i'm doing, i'll be lucky to even finish it by then =D i am sick of reading about drugs, drugs, drugs.

last night was awesome. went to a halloween bash at Milzam's. i gotta admit, 5 out of 5 stars for the decorations. and the usual deliciously-unhealthy-dripping-with-fat-and-salt-foods like pizza and fries and potato chips. ahhh~ college~ i could not afford a flashy costume so i just went to town and bought this sailor hat which i thought was kinda cool. but it makes you look more like a cheap pornstar or something. *makes a face* Zully thought of the concept of a Slutty Sailor. I was not amused. That stupid hat plus tights and a tie, ready to go.

Hanif thinks he's Edward Cullen (-_-)

Zully, Alimin and Wafiy were.. err.. um.. a bunch of guys with face paint. nuff said :D cheers.

M I N E

2009-10-30T22:29:00.002Z

Sweet dreams or a beautiful nightmare.

Bball friendlies with the guys.

Balum sampai sebulan di UK ...

Back From The Dead

2009-10-30T22:02:00.002Z

That strawberry trifle was simply delicious. *searching for the cover lid* Okay that was Danone. I already tried Asda and Cooperative. That Tesco 3 for a quid pack has my name on it. Crap, this stuff is gonna make me fat. But its soooooooooooooo fuckiiin good~

h a p p y h a p p y j o y j o y

2009-08-21T16:03:00.002+01:00

they say depression can get really bad. well, im not sure if i have ever experience from severe depression ( i suffer from severe hunger, thats a fact *makan saja jua eh* ) but yes, as a 19 year old writing in a pathetic meaningless blog, i can get real down sometimes. sometimes it just happens for no reason.

have you ever get in that mood where you just go "sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" ?

tapi indakan nada pasal. at least something must have triggered it. anything.

possibly it is merely psychological. nyeh. lets not get too scientific about it.
nim lah, moody lah, down lah. its amazing how us bruneians can make certain corny english phrases so overused.

its normal for us to be a bit down now and then. usually it goes away if something good or eventful happens, or it goes away when you wake up the next morning.
when i get depressed, i feel useless. and this is not healthy.

seriously, life would be so much better if we could just be cheery all the time. but thats not possible. because bad old overweight Mr Depression escaped out of Pandora's box.

my depression cures (not guaranteed at all)

- consume junk food, fast food. chocolate, fries, burgers, indomee, whatever, as long as its fatteningly scrumptious and shit.

- listen to favorite songs. jangan lagu yang membuat makin depressed ehh, feel good songs lah. tapi jgn hannah montana ehh, atu overdose tuu.

- talk or chat with friends. friends are the best cause they are there for you and they also go through the same shit as you do =)

- do the silly dance.

- go to the beach.

- if you have a little sister or brother, she or he can instantly put a smile on your face no matter what your stupid adolescent problems are. just don't make em cry. yes they are annoying but its better than taking drugs. apakan.

- shopping. for girls only.

- watch a good funny dvd. scrubs is palui and i love it.

s u s h i o l o g y

2009-08-18T09:25:00.004+01:00

life. 4 letters. and yet its THE word. im gonna turn on my lame switch and discuss foodphilosophy. people are the sushi, life is the soysauce, experience is the wasabi. some people don't have a life. in other words they are out of soy sauce. lame and lamer. some people refuse to have wasabi with their soy sauce. in other words, they avoid risks and rather not try something new, hot and exciting. and we, the sushi, we get eaten by our bosses, we get spit out by our lovers, we get poked at by our colleagues. and whats God then? the chopsticks? damn im good.

me: dude! read my new book on SUSHIOLOGY!
dude: maaaan, thats deep.
jealous bitch: well its not exactly Art of War.
me: bitch.
dude: bitch.

2009-08-16T16:15:00.003+01:00

e n t a h

2009-08-16T16:03:00.000+01:00

nothing could possibly ever make me smoke.
i don't have anything against smokers though. i am just talking about myself.
i don't deny that i have been offered a puff. but its easy to say no. all it takes is one image in my mind. my dad. so many times he had these attacks whereby his asthma gets severe and mom is forced to take him to the hospital for the neubaliser treatment which makes him look like some scary alien who needs that thing to survive.
been a passive smoker all my life.
it is so easy, so simple, so convenient for me to just steal a stick from my dad and light it up and try that thing that people so crave.
but i wont. and im not going to.

vandalbelle and chaospuppet

2009-08-06T09:57:00.001+01:00

just another random update

2009-08-06T09:50:00.001+01:00

okay, since si max *batuk buat2* majal nyuruh update my blog yang stagnant ane, i will do so. auu ikhlassss ne jangan tah ingau.

so its already the end of july. brunei has gotten a LOT more boringg due to this stupid H1N1 epidemic thats going around and causing people to wear these goofy surgical masks. however, thanks to max, i was able to find a shop in sengkurong selling the washable type. so now i join the ridiculous masses by donning my customised army green face mask everywhere (well almost everywhere) i go. was a bit sakai. hey its washable kaliah. but its next to impossible to breath in those silly things. mine usually ends up in my pocket when i feel lamas. miana an to? kata si max mask atu macam bra. strange enough, my mum agrees.

his majesty's birthday celebration this year is massively sub-dued. stage performances are cancelled in the capital. that part sucks cause i was really looking forward to seeing kaz and his bandmates perform. i wanted to hear paijal singgg songs from the likes of breaking benjamin and coldplay *hee* but sadly, that's not gonna happen. fuck airborne viruses.

i went to the perayaan a few times with my cousins and sis. deerah, with the skinnies and emo bangs, nadiah, with the butterfly clip and overdose smile, nana with the oversized handbag and dramatic flip of the bangs whilst clicking away at her phone, .. and me with the green hoodie and unimpressed expression. and then there were the idiots of the nights. there was even that annoying phrase "syg abg lai" thrown at us. omfg. no im not kidding. but on the plus side, we did get free longan, hahaha xp panats.

whats the use of me blogging? oh yeah, so that one day i can look back at how absurdly ridiculous i was ^_^

time passes by. shit happens. im not gonna blog about those. there is no point in showing your scars and bruises to everyone. its better to leave them in bandages until the wounds have healed completely. eseh, apakan! can anybody actually understand that metaphoric crap i just typed? x) taie *shrugs dumbly*

i am thinking of deleting my facebook. if i do so in the near future, ill just post my pics on this blog. i can get more privacy that way. i think. uk, here i come.

and More Benda-Benda Nda Paedah

2009-05-10T17:03:00.006+01:00

february was a stressful month because i had to do my university application. screw ucas. 7th february i had dinner at fratinis gadong with abg and his boyswing mates. rowdy bunch them.

22nd february 2009

my beloved Nene Bapa's birthday!

Penghulu Mukim Kilanas Haji Abdullah bin Haji Halus

phewittt. hensem kaliah nene kuu ahh.

and my Aunty Zal 's birthday juaaaa!

she looked gorgeous on her wedding day but i am unable to post any pics of her at the moment. she is currently on her honeymoon in langkawi with her husband, Uncle Bibi Mustaq'in =p

23rd february 2009

was the silver jubilee national day celebrations at stadium. everybody at the event had only ONE thing pasted in their minds; " gila panas brunai ane ehh. " honestly i have no f-ing idea why the commitee did not carry out the function at night when it is cooler due to no incoming solar radiation yada yada yada here comes the geography student talking..

also also on the same day ..

my sis NADHEERAH 's birthday

wuu~ prasan emo ..

and and also, LEE 's birthday. the talented footballer and CS freak of sengkurong. i got him a Liverpool keychain. he still doesn't know i support man u. sshhhh. =p

okay.. the hell with it.. i'm too fuckin lazy to do the update for the month of march .. *falls asleep on bed without switching off lappy*

Time Passes By

2009-05-10T15:44:00.005+01:00

omfg atuu lama dah inda be-update blog ku ane. sometimes i even forget that this thing exists. proves what a complete lazy arse and procrastinator i am ( thankyou thankyou ) .. okay so catching up on the last few months, let's cram some useless snippets of my life into this entry, shall we~

january sees the horrifying war on gaza and some of the world's powerful nations suffering in the midst of a global economic crisis. eh apakaaaaaaan, bukannya news at 10 ne dang! ok ok moving on from bangas world affairs ..

18th january 2009

MONTEL's birthday

( aku inda brani taruh gambar nya =p haha )

aimimontel i miss youuuuuuu!

29th january 2009

A LEVEL RESULTS KELUAR NYANTAAAAA!!!

i didn't want to know my result AT ALL but my mum conveniently texted me my results. sigh. that was a slap to my face.

here's what i got:

SOCIOLOGY - C

GEOGRAPHY - B

ENGLISH LITERATURE - B

goodbye mindef scholarship ..

the next day ..

30th january 2009

my lovely bestfriend ATIQAH 's 19th birthday =)

so we had a girls night out. me nerd, zati lateng, tiqah lawa and farhana hot. the old pds crowd haha. i wore my ESPANA shirt. pictures nada. rah fb ja keke. btw tiqs, im sorry if aku inda handal edit gambar =p

gila .. tiring jua blogging ane ehh ..

h a h a h a

2008-12-13T22:56:00.001Z

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............\....... ..... ..(
..............\..... ..... ...\ fuck off.

2008-12-13T21:22:00.001Z

Random
Do you have any pets?	no. they smell.
What color shirt are you wearing?	army green.
Name three things that are physically close to you:	pillow, phone, and the laptop duhh.
What is the last book you read?	new moon by stephanie meyer.
Are you or were you a good student?	were. HAHA.
What's your favorite sport?	you could say sleeping. nadadeh. futsal is awesome.
Do you enjoy sleeping late?	yes.
What's the weather like right now?	mundane.
Who tells the best jokes?	si boy.
What was the last thing you dreamed about?	can't remember.
Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?	no. i wish.
Do you believe in karma?	yes yes yes. ketulahan tu namanyaa.
Do you believe in luck?	no. never had any.
Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?	i don't consume eggs at all.
Do you collect anything? If so, what?	yes. clothes labels. saja. and fake tattoos. idk.
Are you proud of yourself?	nope.
Are you reliable?	sometimes.
Have you ever given money to a bum?	nope.
What's your favorite food?	kembayauu. hahaha.
Have you ever had a secret admirer?	i don't think so.
Do you like the smell of gasoline?	kinda.
Do like to draw?	VERY MUCHHH.
What's your favorite invention?	some phrase i can't remember.
Is your room messy?	yessss.
What do you like better: oranges or apples?	both.
Do you give in easily?	you could say that.
Are you a good guesser?	sometimes.
Can you read other people's expressions?	yeah sometimes.
Are you a bully?	sometimes.
Do you have a job?	not at the moment of writing.
What time did you wake up this morning?	i don't think 2pm is considered morning.
What did you eat for breakfast this morning?	when i woke up lunch was over.
When was the last time you showered?	just a few hours ago!
What do you plan on doing tomorrow?	waste more time on useless surveys like this :b
What's your favorite day of the week and why?	saturday. almost everybody is in a good mood.
Do you have any nicknames?	i'm not telling.
Have you ever been scuba diving?	i wish.
What's your least favorite color?	yellow.
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?	yeah. adaleeee x)
Would you ever go skydiving?	yes!
What toothpaste do you use?	Colgate.
Do you enjoy challenges?	sometimes. i am a lazy arse.
What's the worst injury you have had?	i can't remember.
What's the last movie you saw?	twilight. and it was AWESOME.
What do you want to know about the future?	whether cars will fly.
What does your last text message say?	your available credit is .60. kurang asam.
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?	abg
What's your favorite school subject?	Sociology. uhuk did i actually typed that?
What's your least favorite school subject?	Ugama.
Would you rather have money or love?	love.
What is your dream vacation?	Rome. or Paris.
What is your favorite animal?	snakes.
Do you miss anyone right now?	yes.
What's the last sporting event you watched?	footie.
Do you need to do laundry?	nobody touches my lingerie but me.
Do you listen to the radio?	in the car mostly.
Where were you when 9/11 happened?	sitting for PCE in primary 6.
What do you do when vending machines steal your money?	i sue them.
Have you ever caught a butterfly?	as a little girl.
What color are your bed sheets?	pink. embarassed
What's your ringtone?	the academy is - skeptics and true believers
Who was the last person to make you laugh?	my sister.
Do you have any obsessions right now?	twilight.
Do you like things that glow in the dark?	yeah.
What's your favorite fruity scent?	citrus.
Do you watch cartoons?	of course. i cannot live without spongebob and the simpsons.
Have you ever sat on a roof?	yes. roofs are liberating spaces.
Have you ever been to a different country?	many.
Name three things in the world you dislike:	amphibians, hypocrisy and ... rape.
Name three people in the world you dislike:	myself. myself and myself.
Has a rumor even been spread about you?	often. some bullshit. some true.
Do you like sushi?	yes. brabis.
Do you believe in magic?	no.
Do you hold grudges?	i try not to.
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com

sleepless nights

2008-12-13T20:56:00.004Z

odd. i can't seem to sleep. sigh. actually it isn't odd for me at all. I haven't been able to sleep properly at night for some time. the result of this being my precious daytime hours being wasted. i couldn't be more inefficient with my holidays. holidays. it gets boring fast, in my opinion, and yet i savour the sweet freedom of it. or maybe the boredom is just catalysed by the fact that i do not know or i simply have nothing interesting to do. define interesting you might say. honestly i am blank. sometimes, i do feel empty in a way. now is a perfect example. i think a lot when i am in bed. like a lot. it does not make me feel any more blessed to be in this world. i am here. and that is it. i mean really. that is all. is this what people mean by taking life for granted? is it really amazing and grand as how a person would see it when they gaze into the billions or so stars in the universe, or is it just philosophically insignificant to us that we just go through it everyday, sometimes that day, ending in humiliation or suffering just makes us just want to curl up in bed and die? i have had that. we all do. still, i can't quite describe accurately the complex subconscious flow of thoughts i have at night when I'm in my bed, unable to actually drift into slumber until the little hand comes close to six. the sound of the azan subuh is remarkably calming for me, soothing almost. i do not care much about the dark shadows under my eyes.

advertising genius

2008-10-01T22:59:00.003+01:00

This is just plain CUTE!

just plain badluck?

2008-10-01T22:48:00.003+01:00

Tadaaa. Presenting my GEOGRAPHY MOCK EXAM PAPER.

Macamane. . .

I left it in a plastic folder on a Saturday. When i came back on Monday, it was soaked from the rain. How the Hell am i gonna explain THIS to Mr Heswall aka Bill Clinton??

2008-10-01T22:21:00.000+01:00

Lyrics | Half Alive lyrics

2008-10-01T21:59:00.000+01:00

I FUCKING MISS MY FUCKING HAIR!!!!

i miss the owner

2008-09-14T14:47:00.001+01:00

this is my side. . .

a normal weekend

2008-09-14T13:47:00.002+01:00

yesterday.

yesterday i received the letter i have been waiting for all week.

yesterday i told siti she needed a breast reduction. (haha)

yesterday i had sungkai at Le'Stadium with montel, alai and rijal.

yesterday i slept on the couch in the living room.

yesterday i slept in the living room with ten other cousins.

yesterday i watched the LIVE man utd versus liverpool match at Le'Stadium.

how was my saturday? ohh it was okay =) (sticks tongue out)

came back from school. excited because THE letter arrived. mixed emotions rosed in me. smiled widely and sincerely but felt like crying at the same time.

six something pm. Le'Stadium. the buffet sucks. main course was okay.

it was a pool of red there. how does it feel to be a man utd fan surrounded by groups of hardcore, rowdy liverpool fans in a liverpool fan club cafe? scary. absolutely scary i tell you. all i did was shut up.

liverpool won 2-1 by the way. unexpected but sad =(

end up staying the night at rumah penghulu mukim kilanas =p it was one hell of a sleepover! imagine all ten of us spread in the den, watching Don't Mess With The Zohan until sahur.

sahur menu: burgers, curly fries and indomee (that's a must yaw)

we sat on the verandah and watched the neighbours played fireworks and bedil. free show. save duit =)

weird...

2008-08-26T11:58:00.001+01:00

Funny experience today. Have a strong urge to post it eventhough i do not see the relevance of it or maybe i am just still too ashamed to post my pathetic poems. Went to B's house in rimba with Jill. Out of the blue, Jill randomly suggested: "Oh! Lets watch a horror movie!"

We ended up watchin.. err.. um.. Tali P*c**ng Perawan. (fill in the missing letters yourself because..well whatever..just do it!) Perawan means virgin btw. I think.

So anyway, we were watchin the dvd in B's room (which is extremely cosy might i say). They were on the bed and i sat alone on the mattress on the floor (huhu..)

Jill: Ok ko?

Me: Awuuuu

Jill: Haha kesiaaan. Nda ko takut ne?

Me: Hell no. I'm all up for this babyyyy! Nada ku takuuut!

Jill: Bah.

Few minutes later...MAJOR CLOSE UP of THE DISGUSTING HANTUUUU!

Me: *jumps a full metre (exaggerating) from the floor on to the bed*, interrupting a cuddling session. Err.. sorry bout that..

when i saw you

2008-08-22T14:04:00.001+01:00

paths are crossed unexpectedly
the manner we met was unconventional
i deemed myself so unworthy
to be yours, you're exceptional.

one brilliant moment we exchanged a glance
you stood there tall and dashing
secretly i prayed to God for a chance
to let me be with this man in the future I'm facing...

2008-08-14T23:30:00.000+01:00

happy birthday ash =p
awu aku baru kenal ko for a few months. but you redefined the term 'budak samseng'. haha. usul mcm nerdd. agagaga.

congratulations

2008-08-14T11:37:00.000+01:00

BBC. i am proud of you =)

i give you my heart?

2008-08-14T04:15:00.002+01:00

2008-08-14T03:21:00.000+01:00

i still refuse to write anything 'personal' on this here blog.

hehe.

i can't believe i didn't have an entry on the 08.08.08.

oh well.

by me

2008-08-07T03:21:00.000+01:00

Sometimes life gets to you
In ways you don’t expect it to
You get heartbroken, you get hurt, you’re being let down
You believe smooth paths can never be found
It’s meant to be a harsh reality
In this universe I am nothing but a mere entity
You may ask the question
Is life always this treacherous?
The answer is revealed in our own mere individual action.
We find out by being audacious.

apakaaaaan

2008-08-07T00:12:00.002+01:00

These are some hilarious one liner quotes that I managed to obtain from here and there.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join the Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money?)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

And my personal favorite,
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

opening ceremony

2008-08-05T06:01:00.000+01:00

this blog was created at 1pm on the 5th of august 2008. haha.